Tiberiam

The official forum of the Judicial Republic of Tiberiam
 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 KingIsaac arise

Go down 
AuthorMessage
KingIsaac



Posts : 254
Join date : 2010-09-04

PostSubject: KingIsaac arise   Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:11 am

KISC NEWS REPORT

KingIsaac, wearing his Royal dress, sat on his throne. After the introduction made by the Ministers, the King stand and said "The Royal nation of KingIsaac is moving forward from good nation to great nation. We will do everything, even if it takes war, to expand our territory and to be richer...."

After his speech, the King immediately ordered that the police and military units of KingIsaac to prepare for the possible war. The Royal Guard surrounded the King with heavy weapons and tanks were deployed to the palace.

The media were sent out of the palace after the King left.
Back to top Go down
KingIsaac



Posts : 254
Join date : 2010-09-04

PostSubject: Re: KingIsaac arise   Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:12 am

(OOC: Is there are grammar mistakes on my report?)
Back to top Go down
Rasvidi
Admin
avatar

Posts : 669
Join date : 2010-06-05
Age : 28
Location : Ottawa, Canada

PostSubject: Re: KingIsaac arise   Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:15 am

(OOC: There is are indeed some grammar mistakes tongue no big deal though, we know what you're saying.)

_____________________

The United People's Republics of Rasvidi
Chairman Väinö Nakashidze
National Anthem
Back to top Go down
KingIsaac



Posts : 254
Join date : 2010-09-04

PostSubject: Re: KingIsaac arise   Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:28 am

(OOC: what are the mistakes? I want to know it so that I can avoid using them again)
Back to top Go down
Rasvidi
Admin
avatar

Posts : 669
Join date : 2010-06-05
Age : 28
Location : Ottawa, Canada

PostSubject: Re: KingIsaac arise   Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:48 am

(OOC: The only specific thing would be where you used 'stand', when you should have used 'stood'. Also, 'Is there are' isn't correct, it should be 'there are' or 'is there'. A little confusing, I know, English has very relaxed grammar and more exceptions to the rule then there are rules.

Apart from that, some of the phrasing in your post was a little vague, such as preparing for 'the possible war'. There isn't anything specifically wrong with that statement, but I think what you wanted to say was something more along the lines of 'any possible war' or 'the possibility of war', because otherwise it sounds like you already plan to declare war on someone specific or expect someone specific to declare war on you.

The sentence 'The Royal Guard surrounded the King with heavy weapons and tanks were deployed to the palace' is also kind of awkward, although you probably just need to add a comma after 'tanks' and it would be fine.

Hope that helped!)

_____________________

The United People's Republics of Rasvidi
Chairman Väinö Nakashidze
National Anthem
Back to top Go down
KingIsaac



Posts : 254
Join date : 2010-09-04

PostSubject: Re: KingIsaac arise   Sat Sep 18, 2010 8:06 am

(OOC: Thank you! It really helps! Sometimes, using 4 languages at a time makes me forget past tense words. Thank you!)
Back to top Go down
Holy Edesu SocialistState
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 939
Join date : 2010-09-10
Age : 24
Location : Madison, WI

PostSubject: Re: KingIsaac arise   Sat Sep 18, 2010 10:40 pm

[OOC- KingIsaac, the EEE must know your nation's stance on religion and the dominant religious beliefs of your nation in order to establish how we will act towards your monarchy.]

EEE's ambassador to King Issac entered the throne room and reverently bowed, "Greetings, magnificent King Isaac. As you know, the Holy Empire of Edo Edi Essum shares a long border with your glorious nation. We hope to peacefully coexist with the Royal Nation of KingIsaac. War should be avoided."

[OOC- Furthermore, should you choose to pursue war with either myself and Serliaq, you will fight both of us. We are allies.]

_____________________
The Holy Edesu Socialist State was founded on May 1, 1907 AD.
Pro Deus et Communismo
National Anthem
EKP Anthem

No servant can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. One cannot serve both God and mammon. (Luke 16:13)
Back to top Go down
http://www.xkcd.com/
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: KingIsaac arise   

Back to top Go down
 
KingIsaac arise
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Tiberiam :: Roleplay :: National-
Jump to: